By You know its funny, the more I say I am going to blog more the less I do. I guess a part of that is everyday I add to my sobriety is a day that opportunities present themselves in my life. But you know the crazy part is, the longer I stay sober, the easier it is to tell myself or ask myself rather, “Was it really that bad?”
My disease, my addiction tells questions my sobriety as if really needed?
So twenty months sober, I tell myself, “I don’t need a meeting today, Im good.” And that’s how my mind works. After all that has come back in my life and all my fortunes no matter how big or small, my disease of addiction tells me to stop working my program of recovery.
And that’s the discipline of sobriety. Well, part of it. I have to remember that sobriety is what I wanted, nearly two years ago. I wanted this, for me, no one else. And that is key to my recovery working on a daily basis. This is the life I asked for, a sober one.
And yeah, there some stuff I wish I could do and there is people I wish I could hang out with. However, I know that would not such a good idea and would open the door to relapse.
Im grateful today that I wake up every morning accepting and admitting that I am an addict. And when I put my daily goal, of just staying sober just for today it takes the pressure off life, and makes life easier to handle. And that’s the thing, I can handle life as it comes good or bad, and I don’t have to use or drink over it.
j
I haven’t been following a program or physically attend meetings and sometimes that worries me. I am definitely not doing this alone. Online communities and discussion forums and live chats (r/sober is wonderful for that) have been my way of reaching out and staying accountable, as well as owning my accountability through the development of my very public blog. I’m not saying I don’t want to use the physically resources, its just my access to them is tough to navigate at the moment (heh, no driver’s license. go figure).
Good for you!
😀
“one day at a time” has been the simplest yet most effective piece of advice in my sobriety tool box.
And as I post my blog, I get a text that my fantasy football draft is tonight at a restaurant, thus me blowing off my meeting this evening. My point, and there is one, (I think) is that no one is perfect, and my sobriety is not an exception. Whatever works for you, in the beginning I went to four meetings a day for four months. Now I got to 3 or 4 a week. The things is, when I wake up every morning , I admit I am still and addict, and my goal is to stay sober one more day. And now that I am following your blog, you have one more person to be accountable too!!!!
best wishes
j
thank you so much!
We actually just did our draft last night…after two separate occasions of yahoo messing up and moving our draft time. It wound up being 1am before we could call it a night.
I’m glad I found this blog and so many others I’m now following to help me know I’m not alone. Thank you for your honesty.