12-18-14 Selfish in Sobriety

I received a call last week from the wife of a person who asked me to sponsor him a few weeks ago. We never started working together however apparently my number was given to her as he walked out the house in a drunken rage. I see it as a pure sign of help and its my opinion the man does want to stop but he’s at that point to where he physically and mentally can’t. I understand, been there before. However, the wife was calling me requesting me to go pick him up from the bar.
About 18 months ago I probably would have went. I was living at a sober home in San Marcos, Texas after completing a 30 day rehab, my second in 6 months. I remember people getting coming home drunk and getting kicked out of the sober living environment. I remember the emotions that led me to try to save them, or bring them back. It was a hard lesson to learn at the time, however, I learned I cant save everyone, and my sobriety has to come first. I even witnessed a friend go after someone who was loaded, then my friend actually ended up relapsing too.
Its hard deal, however I know now my sobriety comes first and everyone has their own journey.
So I told the wife, I was sorry I wasn’t going to risk my sobriety for her husband, but for him to call me when he sober up and if he wants to stay that way.

I haven’t heard from them since.



Published by

J.R. Valdes

Blogger. Podcaster.

4 thoughts on “12-18-14 Selfish in Sobriety”

  1. You did the right thing !
    We all have the desire to help one another , but you shouldn’t have to work harder than someone else on their own recovery !
    Do you get support at your place , to help you not absorb all the sickness? just wondering ?
    I like the style of your blog

    1. Thanks for reading! So they don’t straight out offer help for us, but the first month a worked I had to go see my therapist. When I work detox sometimes it’s hard for me, but I learned to debrief with someone. Thanks again!

      1. In the “Belly of the Beast. ”
        but then youre always getting a constant reminder of how far down it can go !
        thanks for your reply !

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