The Summer Grind…In Addiction Recovery

So I got inspired to write by another blogger. She’s back at “day 1” again. I think that’s how I have been feeling lately. Like “day 1.” Lately I’ve been grinding. Me and my coffee, are on the grind. Haven’t been to a meeting in over a week, closer to two, (that’s like a death sentence to this addict). I have not talk to my sponsor nor a member of the fellowship. Haven’t connected to my higher power in a few days and no service work. Yup, I’m grinding.

It’s just the “silence” lately has been driving  crazy. The fact that my life isn’t crazy is driving me crazy. Everything is great in my life, and it’s driving me crazy. So I grind away. I grind, and grind. And grind some more.

The need to self-implode saturated my finger tips. It waters my mouth. It races my mind. The need to compulsively and physically to make a move eats at my stomach. And eats. And eats.

However, this isn’t my first rodeo. I know it’s my disease. I know what will happen if I use or drink. So the only thing I’m doing right, during the “grind” is the only thing I need to do perfect. And that’s not doing anything.

Keep grinding my friends,

Jaime