People, places and things have been changed to protect our anonymity.
It’s been another crazy work week. I walked into work Sunday night and to my surprise, Kayla, the girl who I found sleeping in another girls’ bed, is still there and has not got kicked out yet. I’m actually proud of her. She had every excuse she needed plus more to leave the center and go use.
I spoke with her in the middle of the night. She couldn’t sleep and ask if we could talk. I just listened. I’m not a counselor, but I do get what she is going through. Especially after just listening. I had been in her spot before, literally. I was client there at the treatment center, I remember one night I could not sleep, I stayed talking to staff in the smoke shack, even though I don’t smoke it was a perfect setting for someone days in recovery, like myself. I always said, a fifteen minute conversation could be life changing.
As her vapor brushed across my face, she told me her brother passed away by overdose. Her girlfriend is currently in the hospital for overdosing. Although tragic, we both agreed that was not enough to keep someone sober. She squeezed her throw blanket tighter, and said, “I don’t know what to do.”
The vapor smoke and smell took me to a daze. I want to say it’s almost a trigger for me. I quickly dismissed the thought.
So what I heard from Kayla, was she not ready to stop using. I don’t know if she’s hit bottom or completely miserable yet, however in today’s world, I’m not sure we have to with all the help and awareness around. Or maybe we do. Maybe we truly can not begin recovery until we are completely tired and miserable, however how do you get to that point at only 22 years old, like Kayla?
I did not put our conversation in the shift report. I think somethings should be left between to addicts. And instead of being against, I feel I need to be for, just like how I felt when I was client there.