What’s up??????

Well, here we are again. I went through a rough patch a few weeks ago. It actually lasted about a month. Didn’t go to any meetings and so on and so on…you know the drill. The funny thing was that I knew I desperately needed to go, but I was just like, “meh, screw, I’m not going, I’m not doing anything today!” And that’s what my recovery gets like. And it’s ok. I tell the clients I work with, you’re going to have those day or even weeks maybe. But after all you’ve been through, or going through, three weeks is nothing! Grind it out, keep moving forward, there is a reason for all this I tell myself. And now, as in right now, today or tonight rather as I type this, I can breathe. Because my life is so crazy busy with cool stuff in recovery and in sobriety that sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. But tonight I can.

P.S. Be careful for what you wish for in sobriety, because it comes in waves!

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"A Legend in my own mind"

2 thoughts on “What’s up??????”

  1. I want to be a professional blogger, too. Does it pay well? I just started blogging and I am in my twentieth or so year of seeking recovery. My last drink was about two years ago when I wrecked my car and another’s. Strangely, I wasn’t drunk as I was on my way to see a recovery counselor about some rehab. A month later I was in a residential program that’d last a year. Inpatient, six months; intensive outpatient program another six. Coupla weeks ago a guy asked me if I’d sponsor, I said No, but continued to talk with him and I look forward to seeing how he’s doing when we hit meetings. Last week I gave him some material not exactly AA program, but some stuff that was really helpful to me in keeping my act together these last 22 months. Was that a bad thing? I also marked his 90 days on my calendar; was that creepy? In the twenty-odd years I’ve been trying to “make it”, I’ve had maybe 16-17 years sober, those are not all contiguous but I’m only counting stretches 1+ years and I’ve had lousy luck with sponsors, another comment_another time. Yesterday, I got to a meeting, as far as the parking lot and said screw it. I don’t want to mess up this dude’s chances. If he wants/needs a sponsor there’s someone way more qualified than I. Now, I’m having second thoughts because I’ve always said that the real magic in AA is the 12th step, you can keep really slapped hard over all the others. Should I…Arrrghhhh, anyway great quickie. I hope to be able to blog so casually some day and maybe be able to stand up a little straighter, too. Be well…

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read,.,Yeah so what a sponsor does is help someone work the 12 steps of AA. And its totally up to you if you want to sponsor someone. I’m nearly 4 years sober, and I am currently not sponsoring anyone. I’ve only sponsored like 2 people and they both relapsed really quick, thus ending the sponsorship. My sponsor actually only had worked up to step 8, when he sponsored me and when I got to that point I switched sponsors. So just kinda gotta feel your way through it and if it doesnt feel right them maybe you should look at that.
      Thanks for commenting and check out my Keeping it Sober Podcast and itunes or on keepingitsober.org, thanks!

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