Soccer Dad, Soccer Mad!

Allow me to lay a couple of cards on the table before I begin my rant!
The farthest I competed in sports while in school was eight grade football. The reason for that is when I hit high school, I was too small and most of all too scared. Plus I have big ears and every time I took off that dam helmet it hurt like hell!
So yeah, a part of me wants to succeed in sports through my nine-year old kid, a bigger part of me that Id like to admit, but its the truth.
Also I am not some crazed lunatic coaching my daughter from the sidelines, and getting kicked out of games and stuff. However, what if I was? When did parents exactly lose the right to raise their kid during sports?
This is her third year playing and yeah I would love a scholarship in her soccer future, and whats so wrong with that? Whats wrong with teaching my kid the value of being a winner, that not everyone gets a trophy. Most of all, and the real reason I’m upset, is that I hate that I feel so awkward when I yell to my daughter to “follow the ball!” after she kicks it. I can feel the eyes of the surrounding “SOCCER POLICE” stare me down! Whats wrong with a little aggression?
I literally only yelled twice at her hour long practice and I felt like I had a big “A” strapped on my back!
If I did happen to get out of line, I can assure you that the social media guru’s will make sure Im plastered everywhere to be opened to being “cyber-ed attacked!”
I’m not sure when I lost the right to raise my third child the way my wife and I feel fit, but I just hate the fact that everyone in her soccer league is now so dam sensitive. Me as Dad,soccer is now only allowed to whisper to my kid, “Great game baby,” and hope nobody gets offended.

Letting go, holding on, moving forward-My Journey in Recovery

5. Cravings

I realized today, that after nearly fourteen months of sobriety, the craving for alcohol and dope has finally left. The physical torture that starts in my stomach and flows to my throat, mouth and nose has finally dissolved only to be swalloed by the pits of my bladder. I felt the cravings would never leave, however the random thoughts of my past reverly’s are as strong than ever.

The “TIme is Now!”

I finished my first 5k today, it felt really good. It wasn’t one of those deals where you say, “if you would of told me two years ago Id be finishing a 5K, I would of told you that you were crazy, but it was a dream accomplished, and I admit, a small tear formed in my left eye, however I held it back as I crossed the finish line. I did something today that I have never done, other than the 5K, I set a goal, and accomplished it rather than create excuse after excuse not run it or at least try.

“The time is now,” to stop putting things off and start doing!medal


I usually try to blog on Monday’s however, I’m going to be really busy this week with soccer practice, the finishing touches on a remodel job, and the daily responsibilities of a husband, father and starving writer! So, I’m gonna cheat a little to help things run smooth this week while I keep up my weekly writing habits. Which beings me too:

Is it just me, or is your attention span like way, way short. If I see more than two-hundred words on a post, I do not even bother with reading it. I think blogs should be quick, clever, interesting or informative. Pretty much the exact opposite of mine! The Internet is just so, this very second, its like I don’t have the time to read more that four or five hundred letters!

I don’t know, maybe its just me, maybe I just have nothing else to write about!


The spot between winter and spring:

…and there I was, holding a red weenie dog with my left arm, while my right, was holding on to red collar of Colt, who was stuck half-way through the black iron front door gate. Colt’s head, two front legs and half his body on my drive-way concrete while the rest of his body in the den. I was crunched down on one knee with Kenny barking crazy at the stray dog on our yard.
I am not sure exactly what choice I made over the past several hours or even days for that matter, that ended me stuck holding my two boys, however I know its pretty sick that my first thought was, I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture of this ridiculous situation.
“Karma,” who was I ugly to the last forty-eight hours which obviously came back around to kick me in the ass this morning. Sometimes I think I am in hell, which my wife says I’m headed.
Now that the hamster in my brain is awake, good afternoon, its a beautiful day here in San Antonio, Texas. The sun peeking in and out, while the super light drizzle has gone away.

The Spot Between Winter and Spring.

Birds laughing,
Strays straying.
Grass growing,
Cars driving.

Sun flickering,
clouds jogging.
Air breathing,
leaves dancing.

Sidewalk creeping,
tires screeching.
Moms’ yelling,
Sirens belching.

Keys jiggling,
Stops signs stopping.
Doors shutting,
Engines Roaring.

My hoods awake,
give or take.
No time to waste,
Late people, late.

Horns honking,
Frogs jumping.
Cats purring,
Dogs barking.

What’s your life lesson today???????

So this morning while on my paper route, this kid, maybe a young teenager, asked me to borrow my phone outside a gas station. I told him sure, make it quick, Im working.
As soon as I hand him my Iphone, my mind starts racing. Where’s his phone, everyone has a phone these days, my nine year old has had a phone for years! This is a decent side of town, why doesnt he have a phone of his own, I ask myself. Then the addict mind starts waking, he’s gonna run, he’s gonna take off and run with my Iphone! So I brace myself, I get ready for a chase and I imagine myself tackling this youngster and taking him out on the oily gas station floor. Then I hear, “Mama, can I go home, mama, Im sorry, I just wanna go home.” (Tear-drop, sniffle, tear-drop, sniffle some more) comes the guilt patrol! Im such a jerk, judging this kid and sizing him up because he’s young and dosent wear the clothes that I do. BUT, wait for it, the second I dont judge, my Iphone is off and running! OR, maybe Im just worried about the wrong thing, and I need to take a look at myself, instead of looking and pointing at other people.
Grrrrrrrrr…! Sometimes I hate SOBRIETY!, every little event today in life is always some dam lesson!!!

Its whatever it takes to stay I guess!

(1 year and 22 days sober after 23 years of using and drinking!)