I Learned That…

I thought it was some weird animal!
I thought it was some weird animal!

I am blogging about this today, because I know I won’t have time tomorrow. If I stay sober through tonight, Ill hit four years of being clean and sober. I have learned a lot, in life as well as sobriety. Countless life lessons mostly insightful and answering a question from the past that may baffled me for decades.

“Oh, the x-ing sign means watch for Deer Crossing, not Deer Xing.” Which for someone reason I always pronounced with a Z, for Zinging! Yeah so I did a lot dope.

I don’t know, maybe this was the year that I finally understood that it really isn’t all about me. I’m not special or perfect or a leader or important what-so-ever. Which is fine. I learned that it really doesn’t matter how much money I have. My bank account can be loaded or not, I’m going to have the same fucked up day either way. Or the same amazing day, either way. It’s all in the piece of mind of  paying my bills, having a small savings, and knowing more money is coming, because I am employed. I learned that my parents are not going to live forever, no one is.  I learned that I am not really sterile and I can make babies! I learned this year that nobody cares if I am in recovery or not. I learned that nearly all of my previous friendships were built on drugs and drinking. Which is know one’s fault. I learned I can make new friends, and they can be just as annoying as my “old friends.” I learned that life isn’t fair a times to everyone, not just me. I learned that part of recovery is growing up and carrying myself like a normal adult, which can be fun. I’m never going to finish my manuscript or be a radio host. I learned that I love my wife and girls and “the boys,” even though with this baby comes he’s going to rock our world! I learned that I only have one day of sobriety at a time, and that all I pray for is that God give me the option to choose, weather I want to drink or use today.


Keeping it Sober Podcast Episode 9- My Story

Episode 9 is actually three different podcast merged into one! Think of it as a end of 2015 clean up of all the episodes that never got published. Plus, a chapter of my personal story of addiction!

Click here to take y0u straight to the podcast!

Check out Episode 9!
Check out Episode 9!

Intervention: Show Number: Whatever!

news_generic_interventionSo I’ve been watching recorded shows of, “Intervention” and it never fails. The person decides to get help, (trigger tear jerking music), then swept away to some resort in a “galaxy” far, far, away! Seconds later, they do like a 90 day follow up interview where the person is so so so thankful for their new found life and “in-debt” to the counselor for ever and ever. Then the screen go black:

Two days later Kamisha leaves the treatment center and relapse. Whereabouts unknown.

It baffles me on what goes on in the mind of an addict, the next 48 hours! And it happens every freak’in show! I don’t know, I see clients all the time leave the treatment facility and we get a call back hours later that they’ve already relapsed. I know I shouldn’t be shocked!

I just want to know, what (as staff, and an addict myself) we could have done different?  Clearly we’re missing something.

Either way, have a great weekend, “Keep it sober,” and If you haven’t listened to my podcast go check it out if you get a second!


Click here: For an Amazing Experience!

I read an email yesterday, at the treatment center I work at, from a former client who completed the program two months ago. The client thanked their counselor for helping them get sober. However it was the next line that really hit home to me.

What's your journey?
What’s your journey?

I am paraphrasing but this was the main point:

“…I now realize sobriety has nothing to do with drinking and using….and everything to do with me…It’s exciting as I travel along, after so many years of who I thought I was, only to now begin to see the real me…

Imagine starting your life completely over, and the first person you meet, is the “real you!” Just think about that for a second.

Think about your entirely new life, I mean how exciting is that! I promise you, if you hold on long enough, you will get to that point in sobriety where life in it’s simplest form, will be so exciting that you can’t wait to see what the next day unfolds!

But you have to hold on. You have to stay sober. You have to do the work. You can not use or drink. Your going to feel really uncomfortable at times. You have to make tough decisions and commit to change.

I don’t know, it might just be me. But recovery, sobriety and the fellowship changed my life that was at it’s last breathe. And it sucked at first, and some days it still sucked. But learning about who I really am after 23 years of drinking and using is an amazing feeling that I hope you get to experience.

But you have to hold on. For dear life.


My Five Goals for the Back-Half of 2015

Set your goals now!
Set your goals now!

The first six months of 2015 flew by! I created my podcast, started a new career, and worked hard on my family structure and sobriety. I also made hard, but good decisions, something I struggled with in the past. However, I did miss on a few things.

So I created a list of goals that can help managed the last six months of 2015 and more importantly I can go back and literally check goals off as the months pass by.

So here are 5 goals in 5 different aspects of my life, plus one extra!

  1. Career: Finish the year strong at the treatment center. Make myself an asset to the company and become a role model for the clients.
  2. Financial: Pad my bank account, no more overdrafting or sweating the pay-check to pay-check game with ten cents in my account until payday! (Also, pay-off one bill of debt!)
  3.  Marriage: Plan one mini-vacation with the wife! This one is very important. Often I lose track what really is important in my life, and forget to spend time with the person I love so much!
  4.  Podcast: I finally created one and got it on Itunes. Keep it up, don’t give up and commit to for the next 6 months, putting out a podcast that adds value to someone’s life.
  5. House: This one kills me, however I need to change out all the rusted water faucets outside my home before the winter comes and breaks them off causing a mess!

And one more goal for the road! Complete the editing of my Ebook! This one has been a goal for over 3 years, and It’s time to get serious and get it out!

I think setting small goals throughout the year is huge, especially for the people like me that are in recovery. We do need a plan, a schedule, a map…that will help and guide us on the days we are not sure what to do. And the best part, the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction after actually completely are goals!

So give it a try! Pull out your journal, and write a few things down you would like to accomplish over the next six months. There’s no rules, change them, erase them, add more! Leave some of your goals here on the blog, or to get them read on the podcast send them to jvmedia@smartbroadcast.org.

Also don’t forget to listen to my latest podcast, Keeping it Sober Episode 4- The Recovery Gap. You can download it from Itunes or go to my podcast page on Keepingitsober.org.

Hope everyone had a great July, see you in August!

PS Dont forget to “Like” the Keeping it Sober, FaceBook Page!



Keeping it Sober Podcast Episode 3- “Open Format”

Well I tried something a little different this week. Instead of sticking with one topic I did a open format with no script or outline, and touched on national topics that have been concerning me lately. Go check it out, by clicking on the podcast link at the header and most of all…keep it sober!!!!


Definition of Insanity: Mowing your own lawn!

Hey everyone, so my first “Keeping it Sober” podcast is out! I put a special custom link on the navigation menu that will take you directly to the podcast page on my sister site, keepingitsober.org. But first:

Insanity is mowing your own lawn!!
Insanity is mowing your own lawn!!

I finally broke down. I mean, in my disease I did a lot of labor jobs. Like hauling junk, mowing lawns and residential stuff I could do high and drunk. So now I get sober, and now I’m all picky! What once use to be the best kept lawn on my block, (thanks to meth), is now a maybe once mowed, every three months. And the problem, in case you hadn’t kept up with the national weather lately, it has rained a ton in south Texas! Problem number: the wife. (I say that with gratitude, not sarcasm!) However I refuse to pay someone for something I can do, at least every three months. But today was different. I was trying to get this podcast out, tomorrow I leave out of town, my wife was in one ear, and my pride in another! So I forked out 80 bucks. And I lived.

It was actually completely worth it. There is nothing like having your own lawn guy. I truly believe  being able to pay someone to do your lawn, in sanity, and also in the “Promises!”

Forgive me rushing through this, but I did my fifteen minute gym work out a little while ago and my typing is like pulling teeth!

Also, this first podcast is for you! It was really a challenging process from the idea to actual finished product. So I hope you enjoy, get a lawn guy, have a great weekend and keep it sober!!!