Staying Sober On My Day Off

Keeping it Sober
The only thing you have to do is change your entire life, one moment at a time!

So finally a day off, (huge exhale!). I guess my plan going into the hot summer days of the South Texas heat had always been to “grind-it-out.” However working 12 hours days, five in a week, gave new meaning to my phrase “the grinding summer.” I am not sure if it’s my addiction why I am working so much. You know, the whole, “take everything to the extreme” because I am a true addict or maybe I feel all the wasted summers of me not working needs to be somehow “made-up” in three months. Whatever the case, I do feel spiritually connected not only to the bright clear night sky that host the stars that shine upon the Texas Hill Country treatment center, but God’s creatures that run the drug and alcohol rehab, when the sun sets.

Keeping it Sober
Is that cat food?

As the classes are done for the day, and groups are all out. I can count on Jim and Terry to be sitting by the pond, which sits next to the main entrance. I try to sneak up on them, driving my little golf cart off-road and barley touching the peddle to slowly creep up. The tires snapping every inch of dry grass and twigs, Jim spots me, “a mile away, he says with a smirk. Jim told me about the Coy fish that lives in the nearly dried out pond. I didn’t believe him at first.  I mean the pond looks perfectly placed on the treatment center website, however up close, we probably could be sued for false adverting. (That’s Sarcasm!) I was sure nothing but minnows and the turtle I found about 3 weeks ago wobbling across the parking lot, were the only creatures that could survive the water. As Jim throws cat food into the pond to attract the Coy, Terry sits in a smoke-shack chair right next to Jim,  staring aimlessly into the algae that sits atop. Terry, about 20 years older than Jim, comes to the pond every night. Just to stare. Into what, I have no idea.

Keeping it Sober
Get your free guide!

Jim grabs a handful of cat food from the nurses station cat bowl. Which, lately a doe comes up all the way to the side walk every night. Right about the time the Coy fish waves his white tale so just the tip clips the water surface to prove me wrong, the doe comes and eats the cat food out the of the bowl. The white cat with the Chinese eyes, always politely sits a waits for the doe to finish.  By the time the doe finishes, I make my way to the cat food bag and refill the bowl for Chinese eyes.

At first I thought the doe might have been “Daisy,” which was the detox deer that would come up and eat right out of our hands. Daisy was lost from her mother, and with a scar on her stout. Maybe from getting caught on barbed wire would be my guess. But like clock work, Daisy would be at the detox fence line every morning to eat an apple or cereal, whatever I could find really, and ate it right out of my hand.

As the night sets in, and the animals are all fed, the two “twin” foxes come out and play in the field. With my flash light I catch their eyes only. I spot one, then about 20 feet away I catch the other. Then they play this game of stop-in-go, or freeze tag all through the open field between detox and residential.

Keeping it Sober
Found this guy walking the streets!

At last, I go and find the newest person on campus. They’re easy to find. They’re usually the ones that are walking around were they are not suppose to be walking around. Always by themselves. Always with a heavy mind. How did I end up here? After I instruct them where not to walk, I tell them one more things:

Don’t forget to look up tonight.

 

The Essentials of Early Sobriety

By Rose Lockinger

core concepts in wood typeThe choice to get sober can be the most frightening decision an alcoholic makes. There are so many unknowns and the fear of withdrawal is enough to keep many alcoholics in bondage long after they need to be. I know it was like that for me. I was petrified to get sober. I didn’t really know what a sober life would look like. All that I knew, when I finally took the leap of faith, is that my life was no longer working and that if I continued on the way that I was going I would dead within the next year.

What finally got me sober…click here for full article!

 

Happy Thursday!

So my schedule is a little bit spun around now that I’ve moved to days. I constantly check my phone to remind myself which days we are on! However now that I have more time to do stuff on my days off, I do have less time to blog if that makes sense. So here’s a quick reminder of why we do the things we do!

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#SOBERPROBLEMS

Hey everyone, hope you made it through a Happy Easter and month of March. I’ve been working like a crazy person this last few weeks. #soberproblems I usually just work 3 days, 12 hours each a week, however this week I worked 5 straight 15 hour days, #soberproblems and now I go back to work tonight! #soberproblems I’ve realized though, having a job and having people no they can rely on you is a pretty awesome feeling! #soberproblems

12321238_828975763896634_8306959843675712772_nSo I got the chance to interview a detox nurse for my podcast and spent the better part of the day editing and mixing to produce what I think is my best podcast yet. #soberproblems It’s crazy just mere 3 years ago my life was absolutely over, no hope, no strength. Now here I am with my beautiful family, great job and pretty cool podcast and blog to share my journey. #soberproblems

Here’s is the link to Podcast Episode 17, hope you enjoy and if you get a chance get with me on Twitter and Instagram @keepingitsober using the #soberproblems and share everything that happening in your life now that your sober!

Keep it sober my friends!!

Watching March Madness in sobriety

So I felt a little weird and squirly this morning. Today starts my weekend actually. And it’s a little challenging coming off four straight twelve-hour overnight shifts. On my last night, I come home and sleep a good 18 hours till the next morning, which is today. now that your sober you only roll two deep for march madness!-1

But I did wake a little early, five in the morning early, so I decided to go to the gym.  As I walked outside to the car, the fresh, cool-damp morning gave me the chills. Especially the bird chirping her morning ritual that use to be the “sound of death” when I was using.

Driving down the dark street and watching the police cars roll by, I started to change my course of direction in my head until I said, wait, I’m not doing anything wrong. Old habit.

When I got home I tapped my key board so my monitor lights up, and it’s March Madness everywhere. Three years ago I would of known that. I would of quit my job (if I had one) to watch the games. Or maybe I was just quitting to drink and use.

Today being the avid sports fan, there is a lot going on. And it’s definitely a different vibe, maybe is even going to take some getting use to. But I’m actually hyped to watch March Madness and here a few things on how to watch the games, sober:

  1. Stay at home. I’m watching the games at home, no reason to set myself up at a bar.
  2. Watching the games by myself. It’s really how I watch the games anyway, no need to have a bunch of people over, they probably work today anyway.
  3. Hit a noon meeting. I’m not betting, there is no reason why I can’t hit a meeting and take an hour away from the television.
  4. Remember, it’s about having fun and enjoy the tournament, if I can’t do that then why am I watching.
  5. Stay connected. I’m planning to text a sober friend during the games about the games. That keeps me accountable.

My lifestyle is about sobriety now. Sure I think some of these things are silly but when I thing back about how my life use to be ill take “silly” every single day of the week and twice on Sunday.

-Keeping it Sober

One of the things sobriety has given me

So my little dog Kenny Boy had to get stitches this week. I worked Saturday night and so Sunday I planned to sleep all day, because I had to go right back to work in the evening. However, my wife woke me with that “wife voice” that something is truly wrong. I love the way she is assertive I might add. She said, “You need to get up,” oppose to asking. I can respect that though, it meant something is very, very wrong.

Poor Kenny Boy!
Poor Kenny Boy!

Well it turns out Kenny Boy was bitten on the back by Manu, our lab mix. They were playing outside and Manu went up to the fence to bark at our neighbor and Kenny Boy came up from behind and Manu snapped at him causing two punctures. So I got up and took Kenny Boy to vet with my daughter. My wife was actually working at the time (she works from home) and could not take Kenny Boy herself.

So I took her bank card. We both were not sure how much it would be, but both loving our pets we were prepared to pay what it took. I felt bad though, not having a savings for this type of thing. But I knew this was or should be my responsibility. I remembered the time when I was in addiction and our dog Colt got injured, my wife had to come over to the vet and pay the $300 bill because I could not.

However with Kenny Boy, they did offer a credit line if I was approved. So I gave it a shot, so maybe my wife would not have to pay, and I was approved. So it made me feel better that even though I could not pay the $500 bill for Kenny Boy’s stitches, at least I got the credit and can pay it off monthly. And that’s something my recovery and sobriety has given me. Credit.

So a few quick things:

I have a new article out on my Keepingitsober.org site called Dear Pam: A letter to the wives, I wrote this so maybe our loved ones and gain a little understanding of why we do, what we do!

Next I created a closed FB group called, Keeping it Sober-Addiction, Recovery & Living Sober, so we can post and talk more freely while saving our anonymity. So go check it out!

Last, I created a new survey, only 3 questions, so you can help me, help create better content for you!

Thanks,

Jaime-keeping it Sober