22 Months: Clean and Sober!

I am not sure exactly where my sobriety started. The day I went back to treatment, the day I got out, or maybe the day I got a job. The clean date is exactly 22 months ago, however the “sober thinking” if you will, came so much longer.
If you stay clean and sober long enough, your life automatically gets better.
And if you hang on a little longer, you learn how to deal with what other normal people have dealt with their entire lives, good or bad, which is “life!”
Hold on to that sobriety and you start to figure out little things about yourself. “Oh, I’m a greedy, smartass, compulsive shopaholic, even sober! So it wasn’t the drugs and alcohol, well then maybe there is some things I need to work on.
Gain a few more weeks living clean, and then you catch yourself smiling. Maybe even a chuckle.
Manage to put together a length of time living sober, and your priorities, family and financial start to sort themselves out. Hobbies become hobbies and not some out of reach fairy tale you blow everything off for in search of, and you realize, yeah its probably a good idea to get a job and work around that.
If you keep sober, you start to remember your life in the past, before you started using and drinking, then you realize the reflection of your innocent past, is really who you are today, and not that person in addiction you thought you were.
And if you stay sober a little bit longer, your hit 22 months, and counting.

I start my day in sobriety, everything else comes second. Everything.

j

21 Months Sober.

Twenty-one months sober today. I did not realize it until I saw the date on the morning paper. So nearly two-years ago, my life was, well…over. That’s what it felt like. No strength, no hope, no future and no life. It was so hard to break the cycle of addiction. Unless your an addict, you have no idea.
So Ive been working on a manuscript for the past couple of years of what it was like. Pipe Dreams, which will hopefully be available as an E-Book in the next six months is such a much bigger story than the using and drinking. It takes you into the mind of an addict. It’s a love story of getting back with my family. It will inspire the addict and their loved ones, that people can recover.
The title derived from a period of my life when my wife and girls moved out. I would lock myself in the master bedroom’s bathroom, and load up my meth pipe while sitting on the toilet. One morning, I looked at my pipe, and just saw my dreams and goals going up in smoke. So, I took another hit. And I would the cloud of my dreams evaporate into thin air like a magic trick.
About three chaotic months later I woke up in treatment after a three day meth induced psychosis. And that, was just the beginning!

j

from; Moving Forward…..

journey(Moving Forward)

Step six and seven. Truly letting go of my past and defects. Making my road to recovery and connection with my higher power as clear as it has ever been for the first time in my life. Truly moving forward in my life and sobriety. I have held on tight to this point, now its time to let go and completely trust in my higher power to lead me, as if for not, I am wasting valuable drinking and using time.

JR Valdes

The spot between winter and spring:

…and there I was, holding a red weenie dog with my left arm, while my right, was holding on to red collar of Colt, who was stuck half-way through the black iron front door gate. Colt’s head, two front legs and half his body on my drive-way concrete while the rest of his body in the den. I was crunched down on one knee with Kenny barking crazy at the stray dog on our yard.
I am not sure exactly what choice I made over the past several hours or even days for that matter, that ended me stuck holding my two boys, however I know its pretty sick that my first thought was, I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture of this ridiculous situation.
“Karma,” who was I ugly to the last forty-eight hours which obviously came back around to kick me in the ass this morning. Sometimes I think I am in hell, which my wife says I’m headed.
Now that the hamster in my brain is awake, good afternoon, its a beautiful day here in San Antonio, Texas. The sun peeking in and out, while the super light drizzle has gone away.

The Spot Between Winter and Spring.

Birds laughing,
Strays straying.
Grass growing,
Cars driving.

Sun flickering,
clouds jogging.
Air breathing,
leaves dancing.

Sidewalk creeping,
tires screeching.
Moms’ yelling,
Sirens belching.

Keys jiggling,
Stops signs stopping.
Doors shutting,
Engines Roaring.

My hoods awake,
give or take.
No time to waste,
Late people, late.

Horns honking,
Frogs jumping.
Cats purring,
Dogs barking.

Waiting

My notebook is so slow. Like, “I’m glad my life doesn’t depend on it slow!”

I uh, decided not to apply for the delivery service job. The hours are perfect, and the days are Monday through Friday and we do need the extra money, however…I just dont feel like working every single day.

So I applied for the delivery service job. I hope they don’t call.

Driving to the point of sorrow.
Finally it ends.
Awakening to a new life.
Better.
As long as I don’t have to deliver.

101 things to do other than use or drink?