What’s up everyone, hope all is “keeping it sober” this week!!
One of the many tools I learned in early recovery was the ability to, “hold on” and “do nothing.” If your like me, then you love to react to every thing that life throws your way, no matter how major or minor the situation can be. Something bad happens at work, then you want to quit. A business idea falls through, then you want to give up. A relationship goes bad, then you want to use or drink. Something happens in your life and you want to react in some way, form or action. It took practice, but I finally learned I can handle situations so I can move forward in life, by “doing nothing.” And today, is one of those days, I need to just “hold on” and “do nothing.”
So I have a lot of good things moving forward in my life, however for the past few weeks its felt like Ive been stuck going no where. I got rejected twice last week. Once by voice mail, once by email, and both within minutes of each other. I feel like my blog is going no where and not helping anyone. I have no new customers this month for my small “health product” business and I want to quit. I’m turning 40 in a few days and I feel like I’m wasting. I want to quit, give up, start over, re-evaluate and do something extreme to validate my existence. I want to do something, anything that will change the way I am feeling. I also have played with idea of quitting the job at the treatment center, easily the best job Ive ever had, to write.
So I take a deep breath. Or two. Maybe three. And here’s the beautiful thing out of all this. Today I know, “holding on” and “doing nothing” is really “holding on” and “doing everything.”
I’m an addict. That means my mind is racing 24/7! That means I need to have complete control of the outcomes of everything going on in my life! Which, in the past, got me drunk and high. So today, “holding on” means grinding out another twenty-four hours, and “do nothing” means letting things happen as they may. Sometimes there is not an answer for every little or big thing happening in our lives. Sometime we need to let things be, however the outcome. Sometimes we need to remember our only really goal of the day is to stay sober. Sometime, we just need to hold on until tomorrow, while we keeping going today.
Keeping it Sober,