Gun Control or Mental Health?

Prayers to the 26 people killed and many others injured yesterday in a small town Texas Church. And thank God for the people who helped chased down the coward, so that he would not hurt any more Americans.

The topic I’ve been hearing this morning is of course, gun control and now mental health. I encourage you to form and state your own opinion here, as I am, because the worst thing we can do is remain silent as if this never happened.

I’ll start with gun control. I do not own a gun. Because of my record, the State of Texas will not allow me to own a gun. My wife does not want a gun in the house with the kids. So I’ve always considered myself against guns, especially used for hunting defenseless animals. But today that’s changes. I don’t know why people need an AR-15 and multiple firearms. But the same could be said about me, owning radio and audio broadcasting equipment. I understand my equipment will never kill anyone, but neither will an AR-15 in the proper hands. Internet Radio Broadcasting is my hobby and you don’t need to know why or even understand, just like if collecting weapons is your hobby, I don’t need to understand. What I do understand is that if those men yesterday who grabbed their guns and chased down the coward, who knows how many more people would have been killed. I am for the right of law abiding Americans to own and collect firearms.

A little bit more in my profession is the mental health aspect. For lack of a better phrase, “aren’t we all a little bit crazy.” I think killing 26 people goes beyond mental health. And so what if this coward suffered from some bi-polar, manic, depressed and anxious state of mind, does it give him a pass. NO! It’s just so overwhelming to ask ourselves as a society, “what did we miss with this, what could we have done for this person, maybe if we would of recognized his mental health earlier?” Those are all questions that for now deflect us from the truth: This idiot killed 26 defenseless people, and gun control and mental health are not to blame.

I would love to hear your comments, if agree with me or not, we need to get the conversation going, and keep it going until this act of coward-less behavior stops.

You can listen to my commentary by downloading the free Kwest Radio App, wherever you get your music from or click here.

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What’s your purpose after addiction?

We all get derailed, but the challenge is getting back in the right direction!
We all get derailed, but the challenge is getting back in the right direction!

What’s up everyone! So an interesting week to say the least! Everything from South Texas floods to helping someone out and not even doing a thing!

So, we’ll start with the floods. For those of you that are not aware, a huge storm in Wimberley, Texas has prompted floods all over the Texas hill country. And for those who are not aware, I work in Wimberley, Texas! First my prayers go out to the families that are still missing, truly devastating.

So let me set the premise. I truly believe we are all born innocent. I truly believe we are here on this earth to help people. And I truly believe that we all have a purpose and path, and my journey as of right now after addiction, is to find that path that I was destined to follow before I got derailed in addiction. And for me, that detour was over twenty years ago. I do not believe I was meant to be an addict, but for this second, “it is what it is.” (I hate that cliche by the way!)

So this past Sunday morning, as I am walking down the mud filled windy road to find out why I can not drive any further on my way from work, I actually felt a sense of “suppose to be here,” kind of deal.

We all had a path, before addiction!
We all had a path, before addiction!

I know it’s weird. And I could not pin point the feeling as I was slipping and sliding on the wet loose mud until this morning. I remember staring at the sides of the hill country road and feeling like I was suppose to be here. When I got to the bottom of the road, the site was absolutely horrific. A cement bridge was completely taken out by the flood and the house to the right on the bank wiped out. People were taking pictures and asking the owner if there was anything they could do. While going through the debris that once filled his home he replied, “thanks.” I felt bad not helping, coming off my 12 hour shift and trying to find a safe way back to the house I stay at during my work week, however today I realized I am getting closer to my original path my higher power set for me 23 years ago. I can feel it.

So fast forward to today. I’m back at home in San Antonio, Texas getting ready to shower when my phone rings. Now early this morning I prayed to my higher power to “put in front of me, who he wants me to help today.” The caller ID said a friend’s name that I had not talk to in months. So I decided to answer. We exchange hello’s and the usual words when catching up with someone you have not talk to in awhile. Then he went out to tell me about a girl he is dating, however he found out she was on drugs and was almost tempted to try it with her but he didn’t. He recently stop talking to her, however was feeling down because he really liked her. He told me he thought of me, and what I went through two years ago, (really for two decades), and he just wanted to say thanks for sharing my story with him long ago. It helped him this week. I felt great. I felt like my morning prayer had been answered with little effort on my part. It was an amazing feeling that I wish upon everyone.

So to close I am excited. I feel my sobriety is headed in the right direction and I can’t wait to what the future holds. It took a long while to get to this point in my life from day 1 in recovery. It took a lot of hard work and dedication. At the end of the day I am still an addict and my only goal is to stay sober. I hope you have an incredible week, and thanks for reading my blog!

Keeping it sober,

Jaime

 

 

What’s Really On My Mind? – Moving Back

In a few days my wife and I will be moving back in together after nineteen months of separation. And YES I am nervous! Going up in front of the judge nervous.
Our house has been rented out for the past year and a half to her sister. Last weekend her family and I moved her sister out, and our belongings in. There is not a part in that house where I did not get high or drunk. Wait I take that back, I do not think I got high in the baby’s room, but everywhere else was a go. Attic, bathrooms, bedrooms, hallway, living room, den, both garages, back porch, every side of the house outside and my favorite the counter table which I spent so many nights alone getting high looking out the back window.
My palms sweat as I wrote that. Nearly six months of sobriety and sometimes it feels like day one.
So the move, It is interesting, I realized it is like we are starting our marriage over brand new, however sober. And it is weird because now that I am making a conscience effort to live on a daily basis in sobriety, my real issues shine bright and those are the things I need to work along with staying clean.
I guess the physical act of not using and drinking, after twenty-three years, is merely the beginning of my recovery. I have battled and struggled through, gangs, prison, my degree and horrible addiction, to find myself now about to be married once again to the beautiful woman who has emotionally stood by side this entire time.
So, I am nervous of being a sober part of a marriage, something I have never done before. However I guess if I stay focused on my daily sobriety, hopefully my marriage will have a different outcome than last.

Lets Pick Up the Pace….(cont)

So, to catch you up…

Shelly is a white girl crack head from Austin that I met at treatment in Wimberlee, Texas. After our discharge I went on to a sober home in San Marcos, Texas and she went on to relapse. I ended up running into her at an AA meeting in San Marcos and persuaded her to live at the sober home I was now managing when she gets out. And she did….however first how I even became a manager with only two months of sobriety…

Jack is a little man. A snake in the grass kind of little man, the sober-home grass. He’s got me by fifteen years in age maybe. He leases the thirteen acres the sober homes are set on, he is the reason why I am sober today. He has his own unique twelve step program that has kept him sober from drinking and crack for nearly twenty years. He is constantly moving, praying and doing service work around the property. But lately he has been acting sketching.

I woke up one morning and noticed Jacks van was no where on the block. That stuck me as odd, however as much as he moves around, I did not let the curiosity get to me. But, the thing that did concern me was the night before. Jack came in my room and we started reading the big book together. He said he was confused about his wife and his girlfriend Trudy. He was shaky. Then he left on a whim.

So, I did not see Jack all morning, and I started to think the worse. I was still trying to stay positive, however when Trudy asked me if I had talk to Jack today, I knew he went out. He was not answer her call, or anyone elses.

The next day, John, the other house manager, a crack-head that has a year of sobriety, said Jack called him, and said he had spun off on a crack binge and he was now in detox. Jack also said to tell me, I was in charge of the top floor, which is all women.

That night three other people used and drank and got kicked out. I had to escort them off the property in the middle of the night…..I almost drank and used myself, but that’s next weeks story.