I know. It’s Bold. But maybe that’s what I need to write in 2016. And maybe that’s what you need to hear. The truth.
Someone asked me the other day, “do you think I can stay sober while my spouse still drinks at home?” I looked at her the same way I looked at the bank teller last week when I went to make a withdrawal.
“I would like take out X amount of money from my savings please,” I asked.
The teller left and came back minutes later.
“Sir, you have .76 cents in one of your savings, should I withdrawal from the other?” she asked.
Seriously. No. Make it happen with the account that has .76 cents!!! (The Look)
And that’s the same look I gave my friend who asked if she could stay sober while her husband drinks at home.
I get it. We are all different. Some of us can still go to music venues, some of us can still work at bars. However from my experience, I only know one way to stay sober. And that’s full commitment. Which meant for me, real change.
I know, I’m lucky. My wife stopped drinking all on her own when I finally came back home. (How someone can just stop drinking at a moments notice is absolute insanity, just a FYI) But I would not have been able to stay sober without my wife’s support. I don’t know either if I would of stayed or left if she decided to keep drinking, like I said I’m very lucky. But its either it is, or it isn’t. And I’m on the side of that if you want to stay sober, you can not live with someone who drinks or uses and most of all doesn’t support you. There is not even a little trick I know, or a little routine on how to get by when living with a spouse that drinks. No clever sayings or suggestions. Just simply no. It can’t be done.
What can be done is your spouse can support you by understanding the disease. By going to a meeting with you. By not drinking or using.
I guess it all comes down to, what are you willing to change, sacrifice and let-go of, to get sober?