Meanwhile, Back at the Treatment Center…

It’s crazy how our story’s won’t get us sober.

I work detox and admissions at addiction treatment center for those of you that do not know. It is actually the very treatment center that I went to three times in order to finally gain the thirty something months I have of sobriety.

All names person’s, places and things have been changed to protect our fellowship and traditions of those in recovery. (Plus my ass can get fired!)

Mrs. Loudolf

Hispanic, mid thirties. Long black straight black hair. She was in cabin #1, with three other women. She isolated a lot and slept on the couch, however was always open to me and the nurse’s. She loved to stay up late at the smoke shack. Myself along with other staff, had some really in-dept late night conversations with her. She really got it, she really understood what she had to do to stay sober. She also felt like if she were to relapse, she would die. One of her roommates, Jane, got her a going away card, and we all signed it. The day she left, I was not there, but I did sign the card.

Keeping a journal in early sobriety can be used as a great tool later on!
Keeping a journal in early sobriety can be used as a great tool later on!

Less than 24 hours we got the call. Mrs. Loudolf was actually calling from her office. She got her days mixed up, and thought she worked, but she didn’t. However, she lost her cell phone anyway, and used her work phone to call us. She could not tell us what happened, because she blacked out. She was crying and wanted back in the treatment center. We didn’t have a bed available. No one has heard from her since.

David P.

Is back. When I walked into the admissions office, we both shared a chuckle. His last night here he got caught in back of one of the cabins with a female client. He gave staff a hard time about it too. So I asked him what happen.

David P. along with a handful of other clients that he met here, apparently said, “screw it” and went to a strip club and relapsed. They hooked up with other female clients that were out, and ended up in a hotel room. He got kicked out of his sober living home, so moved in with a client he met in treatment, where there was a 24 hour party. It was one bedroom with about five people living there. David P. eventually got kicked out because the owner of the apartment suspected him of stealing heroin, which David P. said he didn’t. His last run, was selling his blood, to be able to buy heroin and meth. With no phone, truck or money, he came back to treatment and says he’s ready now. A few days late, I read the treatment center staff email, and David P. is already in trouble, on the verge of getting kicked out.

Steven M.

Steven M. stayed the entire 30 days in treatment. Being a nurse, he actually saved one of the other client’s life, by administrating CPR, when one the client fell to the ground during a off-campus meeting. He was here for a reason, things made sense. Steven M. was ready to start his new sober life, get his nursing license back, and help others.

Steven M.’s mother found him overdosed on the bathroom floor about a month ago. He didn’t make it back to treatment. He died. Heroin.

These story’s are true and not made up. However the reality is, that these stories will not get us or keep sober.

So what will?

Keeping it Sober,





No podcast, no problem, still have time for recovery!

So no podcast today.

You know we get sober and our schedule begins to fill up. Suddenly family that at one time wanted nothing to do with us, now hold responsible for daily activities that we slowly put back in our lives. The old friends are gone, they week themselves out on their own, however new friends want to hang out and catch a movie or dinner. Things while in our addiction could careless about. Opportunities surface, and just as quickly we thought our childhood dreams were gone, they couldn’t be closer. So this new way of living, still knew, yet exciting, brings joys to us and to others that we could of never imagined.

So, our day fills up quick. And today, no time for a podcast, and I almost did not blog. However throughout this new life of sobriety, the most important activity of the day must not be forgot. For if not for our sobriety, our new lives would not be possible. And without our sobriety, within days, for some of us hours, our lives can go right back to the misery and addiction that recycled every twenty-fours that brought us to our knees.

So, no podcast today, however still sober, still grateful and still sobriety comes first, even if I don’t have time to record!

Robin Williams: Addiction, the real deal.

My prayers go out to the family and friends of actor/comedian Robin Williams. It is truly unfortunate and a great loss.
I do not know for certain the events surrounding his apparent suicide however, I did read of his current rehab visit for depression and his battle with addiction. And the most common reaction today, “Why, he had everything?”

I do not know why, and if you think wealth is everything then you might want to have a one on one with yourself later on today. And like I said I can not speak on his situation but I can share mine.

Yes I have went to war with addiction, basically that’s what my blog is all about. I have gone to treatment, twice within a six month period and I have relapsed.
The world came crashing down the first time I entered treatment. It was pretty bad. The worst day ever, easy. However the relapse, which was not as horrific, was mentally defeating. Its like getting to the Super Bowl, being a heavy favorite, then getting blown out. How do you recover from that? Very few do. It took everything I had to earn four months, I had nothing left when I relapsed. I went back to treatment because my dealer wouldn’t sell to me and I thought I could score in there.

Twenty something clean days later, I was completely miserable. I wanted to eat a bullet. And thats when I finally broke down and asked for help.

Looking back, all I did was stop using and drinking, but I didnt change anything about me. Thats why I was miserable. But once I started to change things got better. Way better. I went from thinking my life was completely over, to reaching the age of 39, and my life is merely begining!